I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
