She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
