I am puke
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
