Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
