They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
