Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
