we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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