these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
