with your own penis?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
