I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
