I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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