he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
