i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
