so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
