He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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