Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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