No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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