Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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