return my video game
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
