"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
