How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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