Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
oh god the rape fog is back!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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