great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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