I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
