I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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