Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
