My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
