I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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