i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
