we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
