Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
