I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
