Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
