That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've blown a few things in my day
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
