I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
