Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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