so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
