Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
