i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
