so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
