You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
