I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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