A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
