the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
