After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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