The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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