I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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