I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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