I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Come share oat with me in your robe
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
