we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
