I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
